I just want to get used to the idea, the feeling of," she hesitated,"of motherhood I guess." If that's what you want," I sighed. We had had this discu...sion a couple of months ago to. She was scared stiff of getting pregnant, of the responsibilities. She was an only child and wasn't used to getting any competition regarding love. I don't think she was envious of the love I had to share between her and the child but maybe that she didn't think that she could divide her love. I was the third child. Ab sunny mere pass aaya or mere baal pakad kar mere gaal par zor zor se 4-5 thapad lagaeg or bola “kyun raanndd mai tujhe bola tha mere ghar aane ko tu kyu nhi aayi thi” itna bolke usne mere nipples pakde or unhe zor se dabane laga ahhhhhhhh plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ahhhhhhhhhhhh ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss mai awaz nikalne lagi “mujhe faaf kardo sunny plzzz mujhe galti ho gayi or aj ke baad app log jo kahoge mia wahi karungi or mujhe anil or sharamji ne iski punishment nhi de di hai plzzzz mujhe. “Blaze.” “Isaiah.” His name almost burns as it leaves my lips. “I didn’t realize you knew my name,” He breathes. “You never talk to me.” “Yeah well…” I don’t have a legit excuse, so I let my voice trail off. “I make you nervous. Scared even.” He says it so calmly. I open my mouth to tell him It’s not true, but it is. I don’t understand him. He can’t be dead, if he was, only I would see him. I turn away from him. “No, that’s not it. It’s just.” My voice trails off again. I can’t tell him why. If that’s what you want,” I said uncertainly, looking down into the pot in her hands and seeing the swirling mess of cum already mixing in with the red sauce. At least its mine, I thought to myself. I could have been getting ready to chow down on some other guy’s sperm. Then I was ashamed of myself. I imagined taking sperm from the faucet as it were, and the thought did not make me sick to my stomach as it should have. My vision included my beautiful, naked daughter looking on. Maybe that was.
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